Friday fun..

A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?". The clerk says, "No, I'm sorry, we don't sell those here". The duck thanks him and leaves. He comes back the next day and asks the same clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" the clerk says, "No, we don't sell those here, we only sell hardware items". The duck thanks him and leaves. He comes back in the next day and approaches the same clerk who says, "If you ask me for grapes again, I'm going to staple your mouth shut!" the duck asks, "Do you have any staples?" and the clerk says, "I'm sorry, we are out of them right now, but we are expecting a shipment in soon." The duck looks at the clerk and says, "In that case, do you have any grapes?"
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Two guys are walking through a field when they find a well. One throws a rock in but they never hear a splash at the bottom. "Man! That well must be deep! Toss something else in!". They find a bigger rock and still don't hear anything. "Grab something bigger!" one grabs a railroad tie and tosses it in. Still nothing. All of a sudden, a goat runs up and jumps down the well. Amazed, they stand there speechless. A few minutes pass by and a farmer walks up. "Excuse me, have you guys seen a goat around here?" One answers, "Yeah! One just ran up and jumped in this well!" The farmer shakes his head, "Nope, that's not my goat, he was tied to a railroad tie." (no actual animals were harmed in either joke, lol)